ugliest pillow contest: vote!

by Grace Bonney

alright! after wading through so many ugly pillows i was starting to lose my faith in pillow designers, i’ve narrowed down our ugliest pillow contestants to a top 10. and now it’s your turn to vote! who has the ugliest pillow of them all and deserves new thomas paul pillows from pillows and throws to replace their hideous eyesores? click here to vote, or follow the link under each contestants name. funny side note: we had at least 20 repeat entries from last year- i guess it’s hard to say goodbye to ugly pillows sometimes.

deadline: voting will be open until 8am on tuesday morning, november 18th!

contestant one: chicago make collective’s rabid raccoon pillow (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant two: kristen’s scary stag pillow (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant three: kelli’s kissing ducks- ’nuff said (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant four: kate’s patchwork nightmare (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant five: delaney’s tired pooch pillow (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant six: ohren’s washed out pillows in need of a wash (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant seven: alicia’s creepy clown pillow. this pillow’s creepy smile is totally giving me the willies. (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant eight: jenny’s fish-fiasco (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant nine: kristen’s pillow graveyard- where many bad pillows have gone to die (click here to vote for this pillow)

contestant ten: lauren’s lace terror. all that lace. ack! (click here to vote for this pillow)

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  • These are bad. I kept scrolling down thinking, oh it must be this one, but then they just got worse and worse…it was very difficult to decide. They all deserve the prize!

  • so many horrible pillows t0 choose only one! people should burn them after the contest, LOL. Or at least donate them! Maybe someone can find a better use for a ugly pillow… :D

  • erin and caroline

    i liked it too until i saw the red eyes. why on earth would you give a raccoon red eyes? it screams “run, i have rabies!” to me ;)


  • It was tough to choose between Lauren’s lace terror and the ducks, but in the end, the presence of pot pourri inside the lacey pillow made it just a little more awful.

  • they are all horrendous – i would like to see them all together on one sofa. Imagine how frightening that would be!

  • I actually like the top two! In a kitschy fun kind of way. Number 4 takes the cake for me. Good grief. The saddest part is that at one point in time, someone lovingly sewed all of hose pieces together and probably thought, ” This is fabulous. Dang I’m good.”

  • So hard to choose…they just get worse as you scroll down. That stag pillow is amazing…sort of reminds me of the airbrushed scenes you used to see on the sides of minivans. Wow, just wow!

  • The adorable afghan in Kristen’s photo is distracting me from her creepy furry stag pillow. Any idea where I could get a pattern for that?

  • A few years back, my roommate and some friends made touch quilts for Atlanta’s Center for the Visually Impaired. That would be the perfect place for pillows this horrible.

  • hard decision! The scary stag #2 is creepy in a Sarah Palin kind of way– it’s crazy with that red hairy shag on the edges. #3 totally looks like one my mom had on the daybed in the eighties. And what are those pine tree branches coming out on the sides of those geese! Ugly! #6 looks like an oil spill. It’s amazing how someone thought these patterns worked together.

  • I voted for the Scary Stag. It was a tough call though. That strange fish pillow and the creepy clown were making it a very hard choice for me to make.

  • The Stag pillow, hands down! God it’s terrifying! The weird black sky, combined with what appears to be nuclear fallout haze in the horizon. And the inexplicable ratty red fringe!?

  • number 6 got my vote… i think there are redeemable parts of the other ones (well, sort of) but this one really made me cringe…

  • Andrea said: “It was tough to choose between Lauren’s lace terror and the ducks, but in the end, the presence of pot pourri inside the lacey pillow made it just a little more awful.”

    That is EXACTLY what I was going to say!

  • Well, the lace one is technically a sachet, and the patchwork one is hand sewn with embroidery stiches which elevates it to a seperate level – perhaps antique, so I have to vote for the tired collection on the pink couch. Electic, yes, but very very tired.

  • I am so glad that other people are pointing out the red furry nightmare fringe around the stag pillow. It takes it’s strangeness to a whole new level.

  • you could easily fix the racoons eyes and make that a cute pillow, i think if you could take the red fuzz trim off the stag pillow it might look ok in the right environment (i have a weak spot for anything with animals on it) although the geese are pretty cheesy. so many hidious pillows (some salvagable)but i would have to say the lace terror is the winner because unlike the others, its trying to be taken seriously – the evil potpourri face makes it worse! it’s beyond any repurposing or trimming!

  • Whoa. I have that scary stag rug, which I love for its hideousness and keep as a hint of the self-consciously kitsch. Somehow as a pillow, it just takes it to the next level.

  • USE THEM AS A *PILLOW FORM* — let all the ugliness have a new lease on life with a gorgeous new cushion cover. Cover it! That’s what I do… God forbid you take off the lovely cover and see what eye sore lurks beneath! Eeek!

  • Recycle these “ugy” pillows please… don’t just toss outor burn!! Be eco-responsible and re-use…
    Wash well & use as form underneath a new cushion cover!! No one will know!! (:

    (please mention ugly pillow recycling ideas in a post, Grace!! They are still useful, even if bestowed with the curse of pure ugliness!)

  • Am I the only person who thinks that the raccoon pillow is NOT cute, regardless of what color the little guys eyes are? (sure I think the raccoon is cute, but the pillow overall scares me just as much as the others do)

  • i don’t care about the red eyes, that raccoon is cute sitting there eating his red berries staring up at you adoringly….on the other hand, the lace heart is just too reminiscent of what i liked in 5th grade

  • the fact that the fish pillow is on here cracked me up….. my boyfriend has one exactly like it and i’ve been badgering him to throw it away for years

  • the lace heart reminds me of this ridiculous birthday party i went to as a little girl where i was handed a little stuffed bear, a bunch of lace and tiny silk flowers, and a glue gun. never a good combo!!

    but yes, i think the raccoon is way cute too (satanic red eyes aside!)

  • the fish fiasco pillow got my vote. it was the only one that actually made me laugh out loud. and that raccoon pillow is getting so much attention the owner needs to pull it from the contest and auction it off! make some money with that scary thing.

  • I saw that fish pillow in a house that was decorated entirely with a fish theme. fish playing cards, fish wall hangings, fish napkins, fish curtains…fish PILLOW. i have been having nightmares about that pillow ever since.

  • I was just about to go for the kissing ducks (remember when that was considered “country”?) when I saw that lace nightmare! GAG! LOL!

    Meg :)

  • Strangely, no one seems to have noticed the truly ugly pillows here. Where the others are perhaps ugly/kitchy and ugly/whimsical, Ohrens two smelly looking things are just plain ugly. I wouldn’t lean any part of my body against them.

    The fish pillow comes in a close second! It looks so sad, the way it rests its saggy little fish chin against the armrest.

  • The lace pillow gets my vote! I don’t know why but somehow it conjured up hidious visions of a cheap 80s’ style wedding dress – a big meringue with yards of horrible satin and lace and big leg of lamb sleeves. And don’t forget the lucky satin horseshoe hanging from the bouquet! Yeech!

  • I can imagine most of the pillows been recovered with something stylish… but the heart/pot pourri/lacey pillow is beyond salvation. Someone actually wanted to lend me one to use as a ring pillow for my wedding…

    I can imagine the stag pillow in an ultra-modern house, as a whimsical, funny touch. If you have a regular house, recover it !

  • Oh No, can I admit that I LOVE the T pillow in Kristen’s pillow graveyard. Kristen, please contact me, so that I can save it from the graveyard. Will even be prepared to pay! You know the saying, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure! Contact me!

  • YIKES. That was difficult to look at and even more difficult to vote on. I ultimately went with the lace/potpourri, but I won’t certainly argue with the winning results. Unless it’s the raccoon. That one’s kinda cute in all its kitsch.

  • It has to be the lace pillow, that gross, stale potpourri from the 80’s inside is the kicker for sure.

    The duck and the horrible patchwork pillow are also bad…

  • all of them look awful, but I’m gonna vote for #7 – it reminds me of “Killer clowns from outer space”.

  • the stag got me.

    maybe it is that afghan behind it…

    but even without the afghan, that pillow is nasty. nasty. nasty.

  • hands down the lacey heart pillow. when something doesn’t even look like it would remotely look cool years down the line, then i can safely say it’s ugly. sorry heart pillow!!

  • Wow! I think I’m MOST repulsed by the scratchy look of number 10… but then the fish looks like that awful fabric used in cheap athletic jerseys. I love the enthusiasm of sad shag puppy (who could toss a face like that?) And yeah, the stag is (kind of) awesome.

  • I’d already voted for the lace pillow, and I didn’t see the “face” in the potpourri until i read the other comments! Thank god I didn’t throw my vote away, because that pillow is truly horrible (and now also hilarious)!

  • I feel like pillow #6 could be restored/cleaned like an old painting, where underneath all the dirt there would be beautiful color…maybe not.

  • hhmmm…but am i voting for good ugly or just bad makes me cringe but not in a good way ugly. i really want to vote for the ugly i like (ie: the clown or raccoon) …but i might just have to do the opposite and be true to the poll… So the lace pillow it is!

  • There’s definitely some kind of creepy demonic shroud of turin thing going on with that lace pillow. I’m worried that if I stare at it too much my soul will flee my body.

  • Kristen, thank you for the pattern! That afghan proves you’ve got fabulous taste despite one minor pillow miscue!

  • My vote has to go for the lace abomination! A friend’s mother used to have one of those on their couch when I was a kid… it’s too horrible to talk about *shudder*

  • What a tough decision. They are all so ugly, although I actually find the rabid raccoon strangely appealing. That lace heart is heinous in a very special way.

  • ah, such a great turnout this year, it was very difficult to decide…i mean the stunning display of artistic talent just floored me…but i’m going to have to give “kristen’s scary stag” pillow the nod. the red fuzzy border slew me.

  • Lauren’s lace terror looks like something straight out of my mother-in-law’s house. (i’m not kidding….I think she has at least two just like this)

  • Number six is undoubtedly the worst. Where else can one find such a true remembrance of the barges leaving NYC harbor?

  • This whole thing has the magnetic quality of look-don’t look- at a car accident on the highway. I love all the comments! My vote goes with the ickky lace pillow because of the tactile qualities of the polyester lace and the smell of potpourri which just can’t be good.

  • It was a toos up betwen the ducks and the lace. Horrors, both of them. Niether one could I ever look at again, but on sheer printed-duck-Christmas-themed PRINCIPLE, I have menatally burned THAT one. This was fun!

  • I can’t believe no one has commented on the creepy child clown! Imagining the dusty smell of that potpourri does make me want to vomit, so I can see why it’s getting so much attention.

  • Somehow the fish pillow makes me think of the occasional fish that jumps from it’s tank plunging to it’s death.. only it landed on the couch. How gross and smelly would that be to come home to?? The fish pillow gets my vote

  • That awful fish pillow gets my vote. Anyone who’s ever been described as “fish-faced” is certainly ugly!

  • Hi, #6 here… the funny thing is… I, too, thought I could salvage it. Despite the description, it is actually cleaned and washed… no amount of soap can wash away ugly. Thank you for your votes! :D

  • The lace pillow is not just ugly. The lace pillow is evil. I’m not sure it is safe or healthy for us to be contemplating and discussing it. Therefore I voted for the kissing ducks, which, while frightening, is not actually demonic.

  • Granted, they are all ugly even though sometimes things can be so bad that they become a statement. I voted for the stag – those does in the background lusting after him just nauseated me, yuk!

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